Last night I came across a crowdsourcing page for a couple asking for donations to help conceive their third child through IVF. The couple said they are just like couples that are unable to create their first child. I was taken aback when I read that. This morning it got me thinking: Is there a difference between couples who are struggling to conceive their first child and those working to create their second, third, or even fourth child? Yes, there is.
We’ve yet to experience all the same aches, pains, and joys you have. We haven’t had the pleasure of a doctor confirming what 20 pregnancy tests told us. We haven’t had the pleasure of our first ultrasound, first kick, peeing like a racehorse, indigestion, food cravings, or food aversions. We haven’t experienced morning sickness, feet swelling, weight gain, and at that moment, we no longer fit into our favorite pair of jeans. We haven’t registered for baby gifts or been given a party celebrating us becoming mothers and fathers. We haven’t seen the joy in our husband’s face when we tell him, “WE’RE PREGNANT!”
If you are having trouble conceiving another child, I’m genuinely sorry, and you are in my prayers, really you are, but please don’t tell me your pain is the same as mine because it’s not. And if you still think your pain is the same as mine, hug your child or children you have in your home and remember I can’t do that.
XOXO,
Jennifer